The C Word – Day 36 Living up to my Name

Dawn.  The very word means early morning.  The time of day when the sun is just about to make itself known.  The hour of the day when the birds awaken and begin to sing. A time when the majority of people are still blissfully sleeping. The quietness is broken only by a bird song, or a toad croaking, or the “drip, drip, drip” of an early morning rain.  One word…. Peaceful.

I love to awaken early and make my way downstairs.  George does not understand why I get up when I can lay in bed to sleep or dream or relax.  But the thing is, by awakening early before the rest of the household is up I can have “me” time.  Those early morning hours are the only ones that are truly mine to spend as I wish.  I can while away the time playing computer games, or reading the paper, enjoying a cup of tea, or perhaps just sit and think or write as I am doing right now.  I can make my way to the gym and get in a good workout if I choose.  I might run out and get groceries.  I can sometimes get all of the laundry done before anyone else in the house puts a foot on the floor to begin their day.  In other words, I can be as productive or not in those first few hours of the day.  They are mine to do as I wish.

Once the “world” starts to awaken the time is no longer my own.  Whether it is ensuring that mom is taken care of, or George has breakfast, or it is time to get to work, the hours throughout the day will be spent meeting the “demands” of others, giving of myself until it is time to go to bed.  Sleeping and getting up early in the morning is the time that my body and mind prepare to meet whatever the day may bring. 

It will become more significant in the coming weeks as George will draw on me continually during his waking (and sometimes sleeping) hours to provide him with the strength and support that he needs to make it through not only to “surgery day” but also the recovery process.  There are actually times I have been able to feel him pull energy from me in a very real sense.  Unless you have ever had someone rely so totally on you for love and strength you may not understand what I am speaking of.  He may not even be aware of it taking place.

I love my name – and I love what it means.  I don’t think my parents knew that I would become the type of person that would live up to my name by embracing the dawn of the day, but I do.