The C Word – Respite followed by Round Two

I was able to get away for a very quick respite this past weekend.  I had been planning this trip for a very long time and was glad we were able to work it into our schedule.

My niece was married in Chicago on Sunday and it was a great opportunity to take some time to relax and breathe and not have any caregiving duties. 

I say it was quick – because from door to Chicago and back I was only gone 54 hours!  And, when you take into account the airport wait, flight and taxi rides to/from Chicago airport, you can deduct 15.5 hours… I was literally in Chicago for about 38 hours!! 

But… I will take what I can get.  I was able to spend time with two of my siblings, my nieces and the groom as well as extended family.  There was a nice gathering on Saturday evening and the wedding on Sunday evening.  Had breakfast on Sunday with my brother, sister-in-law and sister, brother-in-law.  My sister, her husband and myself even spent a few hours at the Museum of Science and Industry.  While we only covered one of the three floors of exhibits, we saw a lot and had a great time!  And.. on top of that… the weather could not have been more perfect!

It was a great time of respite for me and likely the only one I will get for a very long time.  So appreciate it I did!!

Upon landing in Chicago I was greeted by a plethora of text messages that came in while I was in the air.  My daughter, Becke, was going in for gall bladder surgery.  I have talked with her recently and although we knew that it could happen at any time since her meeting with the surgeon recently, I’m not sure I expected it to happen this quickly.  While there was a part of me that wished I could be there with her and her family, I realized that even if I was home I would not have been able to get up to help out.  Fortunately, things went smoothly.  My son-in-law kept us updated throughout the day.  She has her husband and daughters who can lend a hand for the short recovery this is supposed to take. 

Meanwhile, also back at home, Stephanie was able to come down and spend time with her dad and be here to help him out.  George had a luncheon planned with some buddies of his.  Steph had been given implicit directions from me so when her dad said he would drive his friend Larry to see their other buddy, she told him “oh no you’re not!  You’re not allowed to!”  She took great pride in being able to do this and sent me a message, “Thank you for allowing me to be in the position where I could finally tell Dad that he is not allowed to do something.  It was a beautiful, magical moment for me.”  She will cherish that moment for a long time!!

While I had originally hoped to spend an extra day in Chicago, I needed to be home as today was the start of George’s second infusion.  We had expected it to take a little bit less time today as one of the pre-meds was being cut from 1.5 hours to 1 hour.  Alas, we left at almost the exact same time as the first one.  Again, it is more of a non-event.  A lot of sitting and waiting for each infusion to be done.  We expect that he may be a little more tired during this infusion period.  We hope that the side effects are still minimal.  We also hope that George’s physical issues are resolved enough so he isn’t in as much pain this round.

The C Word – Emotional Roller Coaster

This week has been challenging for George.  Just as he was starting to perk up a little bit, something happened to take him straight down to the bottom again. 

He was in excruciating pain when in the bathroom.  Agonizing pain.  After a few days we called the oncology doctor on call and explained what he thought was going on and she recommended Sitz baths and Preparation H.  So - - I went out and stocked up on that type of stuff.

Still, today, he was in agony.  Sent a note off to the doctor to tell him what was going on and saying we needed to deal with this even if it meant postponing next week’s infusion.

The response – try the OTHER kind of preparation H (who knew that the difference between the green label and the blue label was significant?  Of course, we had green – they said we should use blue).  He also recommended we try to see Dr. Bastidas.  He also said that regardless of what happens, we are not going to skip a treatment.

Fortunately for us, Dr. Bastidas could see us today.  He explained some of the treatments and what could be happening (he is very good at drawing sketches to explain things).  After examination, it turns out George has an anal fissure.  Hmm, that was not something we expected.  This is a common enough occurrence that the prescription ointment is something they have pre-printed to send us off to the pharmacy.  The other addition is to take Atavan which will relax the muscles necessary.

So… another new regime.  George is feeling a little bit better already so we are hopeful this does the trick. 

We always come away from Dr. Bastidas’ office feeling so much better.  What a godsend he has been.

In the meantime, with George being in such discomfort, his emotions ran high and low for a couple of days.  It is hard as a caregiver and wife to watch him go through this.  All I could do was lend a sympathetic ear and try to reassure him.  I spent more time downstairs than normal to let him know I am here for him. 

I got a few things done when I could as I need to prepare for my quick weekend getaway.  Now that he should be feeling better, I feel better.  He will have company over part of the weekend so he won’t be alone the whole time.  This is likely the only getaway I will get for the rest of the year so am looking forward to taking this trip to Chicago to attend a niece’s wedding and spend time with my sister and one of my brothers. 

The C Word – Chemo Day 4

Today was challenging for George.  Not only was he tired but he was busy going to and from the bathroom.  For the first time in nearly two years he took an Immodium to slow things down so he could rest.  It appears to have done the trick.

He has napped a number of times today for varying lengths.  Just too tired to do much.  He normally is on his iPad for most of the day but he has barely pulled it out in two days. 

One more day – and hopefully he will start to perk up for a bit.  That is our expectation.

The C Word – Chemo Day Three

Chemo day three of round number 1.  Just as people told us, George started to tank a bit today.  He awoke tired and stayed tired all day.  He took something like three naps (a 2 hour one and two 1-hour ones).  He ate pretty well and drank what he should… but kept falling asleep.  Good thing I know the schedule and would wake him up for nausea meds and to drink fluids as staying hydrated is so important.

He now is “pump free” and looks forward to a shower in the morning!

I finally got my sewing machine back after over a week in the shop.  I have missed “my baby” and immediately set to work finishing a wedding gift for my niece.  I have a backlog of things I want to work on so am glad that the machine is working again so I can sew while George sleeps. 

I anticipate that he will be like this for at least another day and maybe two.  That is what we heard … so we shall see.    

He has not really had any bad nausea spells.  Aside from slight foot tingling, so far the side effects have been minimal. 

The C Word – Chemo Day Two

George had a fairly good night of rest.  The only thing he noticed last night was that his feet had a tingling sensation in them for a bit.  But he awoke rested this morning.

He actually commented that right now he doesn’t feel too tired.  He took a nap today but a shorter one than usual – and only one.  He has been eating well today and keeping hydrated. 

The pump is an inconvenience but he is doing okay carrying it around when he moves around the house. 

So, not too much to report today.  I guess that’s a good thing.  I am sure there will be a change in a day or two – but maybe we’ll be surprised!

The C Word – Chemo Has Begun

Just as I was nearing home this morning as I was riding my bicycle and listening to my “tunes”, two familiar songs came on, back to back.  The timing was so appropriate.  The message to me very clear.  I needed to hear these today.

Today was the start of George’s chemotherapy.  As we approached this day, neither one of us was too concerned about today’s events.  George does have some concerns about side effects but those will be the worst on days three through five. 

We arrived at the Stanford Cancer Center at 8AM as at 8:15 the first of three “appointments” was necessary.  The blood draw.  George has a port, so he was not sure what kinds of things they would do to use that.  That was “lesson number one” for him.  Forty-five minutes later we had an appointment with the doctor to review the labs and go over a few details.  Then back to the waiting room where we would be called back for the infusion.

Our appointment was at 9:30.  By the time we went over paperwork and signing off on procedures, getting anti-nausea meds, etc., it was nearly 10:30.  We didn’t know that there would be three infusions.  The first one is leucovorin.  It is not a chemo drug but is used to enhance the effects of the 5FU chemo drug.  This infusion took about two hours.  After that they did a “bolus” push of the 5FU – this is a single dose in a syringe that they push into the port to get things going.  Once that was done he began the Avastin which, for the first dose, they do slowly over a 90 minute period.  [Over the next two infusions that will be lowered to 6o minutes and then 30 minutes.]  Then, hooked up to the pump and home we went.

During the time he was getting the Avastin, a home education nurse stopped by to show us what the pump looked like and walked us through things that might happen and how to correct them.  It was pretty easy to learn and, of course, we have papers to guide us through those processes as well.

George did well today.  He didn’t nap until after we got home.  He was slightly nauseous but not too bad.  He will wear this pump for exactly 48 hours so has a little carry bag that must accompany him wherever he goes.  That will take getting used to.  For five days he will have a dedicated bathroom in the house and a separate laundry bin as his things need to be washed separately from other things.  Once that five days is up, there are no special requirements. 

I spent most of the time sitting with him and crocheting a new, smaller project.  Listened to an audio book, a little music and, in general, it was as if I was home - - except the chair at home is more comfortable. 

Overall, today is what I would call a “non-event” day.  A lot of sitting around, just a different location than home.  Nurses in and out doing what needed to be done. 

Now I will share what I listened to his morning. 

The first song, “Here as In Heaven” is sung by Elevation Worship.  It states that the atmosphere is change now for the Spirit of The Lord is here… God’s love surrounds us… A miracle can happen now… 

The second song was “Angels Among Us” sung by Alabama.  It states that “I believe there are angels among us, sent down to us from somewhere up above.  They come to you and me in our darkest hour to show us how to live, to teach us how give, to guide us with the light of love.”

Indeed, beginning chemo is a change in atmosphere and we need the Spirit of the Lord to surround us and we need a miracle.  Indeed, there are definitely angels among us, praying for us, ministering to us.  The doctors and nurses are angels as well as they take care of the medical end of things.

These two songs calmed me this morning.  They were the exact words I needed to hear today.  God definitely knew my mind and my heart. 

"Here As In Heaven"

The atmosphere is changing now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

Overflow in this place
Fill our hearts with Your love
Your love surrounds us
You're the reason we came
To encounter Your love
Your love surrounds us

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need Your presence
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
Here as in heaven

A miracle can happen now
For the Spirit of the Lord is here
The evidence is all around
That the Spirit of the Lord is here

"Angels Among Us"

I was walking home from school, on a cold winter day
Took a shortcut through the woods, and I lost my way
It was getting late, and I was scared and alone
But then a kind old man, took my hand, and led me home
Mama couldn't see him, oh but he was standing there
And I knew in my heart, he was the answer to my prayers

Oh I believe there are, angels among us
Sent down to us, from somewhere up above
They come to you and me, in our darkest hours
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give
To guide us with the light of love

When life held troubled times, and had me down on my knees
There's always been someone, to come along, and comfort me
A kind word from a stranger, to lend a helping hand
A phone call from a friend, just to say, I understand
But ain't it kind of funny, at the dark end of the road
That someone lights the way, with just a single ray of hope

Oh I believe there are, angels among us
Sent down to us, from somewhere up above
They come to you and me, in our darkest hours
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give
To guide us with the light of love

They wear so many faces, show up in the strangest places
To grace us with their mercy, in our time of need

Oh I believe there are, angels among us
Sent down to us, from somewhere up above
They come to you and me, in our darkest hours
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give
To guide us with the light of love
To guide us with a light of love