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We have
learned a lot of new words in the past six months and they are becoming
increasing intrinsic to us. Every corner
we turn, we see them. We hear about
them. They bring emotions to the surface
– sometimes joyous ones, sometimes frightening ones, sometimes downright angry
ones.
We are
learning new acronyms. Things like:
PMP: Pseudomyxoma Peritonei …. Cancer
HIPEC: Hyperthermic Intraperitoneal Chemotherapy –
one of the few treatments that works on PMP as well as CRS, Cytoreductive
Surgery.
MOAS: Mother Of All Surgeries. So named because the surgery that must take
place involves opening the belly and removing all evidence of disease. The
surgery can take anywhere from 5-15 hours. In many cases it means taking out a
number of “parts” such as spleens, gall bladders, appendix, colon and sometimes
liver or parts of the stomach.
NED: No Evidence of Disease. Someone posting that they are celebrating
five years NED. Others posting they are
praying that their next scan will show NED.
They want NED to be their BFF.
We, ourselves, are in this particular position with George having his
first post-surgery CT scan last week. We
pray that it, too, shows NED. As long as
there is NED, we can keep positive thoughts and energy in our lives. Should NED become ED, I am sure that will
cast a shadow over our lives.
This last
one, NED, we learned after joining a very active group on Facebook. In order to be part of this group you have to
have a relationship to PMP-Appendix cancer.
Trust me, if any one of these folk would have a wish it would be to not
have a relationship to PMP. While we may
never meet the people who are “friends” on this page, having a place to go to
post updates, challenges and prayers gives everyone a chance to connect and
support one another throughout the journey of this particular cancer. Because of the rarity of this cancer it is
easy to feel isolated and alone as the treatment is different than that of most
other cancers. Finding others “just like
you” leaves you feeling a little less isolated.
And then
there is that one “small” six letter word that reverberates over and over
again… CANCER. It hangs heavy in the air
at times, still has the ability to shake us to our core. Unexpectedly it creeps in and seeks refuge in
our heads or in our hearts.
It did that
tonight. We have a dear friend who has
end stage prostate cancer. His name is Bernie. He and George have become
buddies these past few years – all because George offered to put up a new light
in their garage so they wouldn’t fall down in the dark. Bernie is in his 90’s I believe. He saw this act as a gift from God and every
time we see him he gives George thanks and praise for his act of kindness. Ever since then we have kept tabs on them and
this relationship became even stronger after George’s surgery as Bernie called
out of the blue one day to talk to George.
He asked how George was doing. He
had not heard about the cancer because he had not been to church in a while. As it turns out, Bernie had been diagnosed
with cancer as well and we had no idea.
So we make as much effort as we can to stay in touch with our friend and
his wife. We paid a couple of
visits. Phone calls are exchanged back
and forth. Bernie is in a lot of pain
and discomfort and is ready to “see the face of Jesus”. His biggest worry is what will his dear wife
do without him – they have been married over 60 years. I think if it weren’t for the fact that he is
afraid she cannot live without him he would have given up long ago. But he has been waging war with the “C”
word.
Our dear
friend called tonight – presumably because he wanted to hear George’s
voice. He also wanted to let us know he
was having some surgery on Wednesday and would be in the hospital for a few
days. He asked for prayers – and of
course we will be praying for him.
Yet once the phone was placed back in its
cradle all kinds of other emotions kicked into gear. George became angry – he HATES the “C”
word. He hates what it has done to him –
and to others. Until this happened to
him he did not understand how consuming this disease can be. He hates that Bernie is in such pain.
Yet we also
wonder if there was another reason that Bernie wanted to call George. Should we be listening for the still small
voice of God to figure out what it is? A
part of us is wondering if this is God’s way of letting us say goodbye to a
dear friend – giving us opportunities for conversations – so that should the
inevitable happen we will have no regrets about having stood by this wonderful,
sweet man in his time of need these past few months. The bond that Bernie and George share is
special. Bernie is always sharing words
of God and even though he is in pain he is an ever faithful servant, giving
words of encouragement to those around him.
We pray for
the pain to be lifted from Bernie’s body – yet we know that this truly may not
happen until he is in the arms of His Saviour.
One of his little daughters has been waiting for him for decades and he
cannot wait to see her either – but he isn’t quite ready to leave his love here
on earth. He is torn between two “homes”
all the time it seems. We weep – because
we love him and we feel his pain. Every
moment of time spent on the phone or with him is precious to us as we know it
could be the last.
Here are
some of our favorite memories of Bernie:
Hearing “Hallelujah” shouted out at the end of a particularly
good hymn or song of praise at church (and then looking around the congregation
and seeing people smile because they all know who it was that said it!)
Having him refer to the installation of the lightbulb in the
garage as “a light from heaven”
Having him leave phone messages, always ended by him singing
one of his favorite hymns
Getting wonderful, warm hugs each and every time we meet and
part
George is
more focused on relationships since being diagnosed with cancer. He never realized how powerful they could be
until he heard from so many people that prayed for him for those months
following his diagnosis and throughout his days in the hospital and in recovery
at home. People he barely knew – many he
does not know as the prayer chain circled the world.
Like many of
us, he feels so insignificant, unworthy of all the prayers – “Who am I that I
deserve this attention?”
God knows
him. Just like God knows each and every
one of us. We know that God cares for
the “lilies of the field” and for us who are also part of His creation. We are not insignificant in His eyes. There is a plan for us we just have to listen
and be open to that plan when it is revealed.
God puts people in our path all the time – sometimes for a reason and
sometimes for a season.
I think God put
Bernie in our path for a reason. As I
sat with George and wept with him over Bernie’s phone call, something occurred
to me. Their relationship started
because of a $2 store item and a five minute job of installing a simple light
bulb. It really is the “little things”
that make a huge difference to others. While
they are seemingly insignificant to us (A light bulb?), those little things can
mean much more to someone else. Maybe
God doesn’t want George to take on a huge project in his “next life”…. Maybe he
wants him to pay more attention to the small stuff. Maybe he wants George to use his capable mind
and capable hands to help the less fortunate with small tasks that make a huge
impact on others.
I think
maybe there is something here for all of us.
My devotional today says that our real heart is revealed by what we do
in secret when only the Lord is watching.
It is when we are doing the little things that do not call attention to
ourselves that we receive eternal treasures.
It is in the smile we give to a stranger, the hug we give to a friend,
the encouraging word we give to someone in times of despair. It is in changing a light bulb for someone
who cannot do it themselves.
I couldn’t
help but read the title for tomorrow’s devotional and realized that it, too, is
sending a message to us. It says that
sometimes we forget that life is about the people and relationships that God has
put around us. We must not discount the
value of others. We need each other as
friends, family or even just passing acquaintances in order to live successful lives. The prayer reads, “Lord, help me know when it
is time to drop the task and run to the relationship.”
Hmmm… Is God
using Bernie as a tool to reveal something to us? I have no doubt about that. Thank you, Lord, for
putting people in our path to enlighten us, to enliven us, to enable us to
learn not only about them but about ourselves as well. Thank you for our long time friends and for
our “little while friends” (the ones who enter our lives only briefly but make
an impact on us). Help us to recognize
the importance and significance of these relationships. Amen.
