The C Word – Day 32 New Down Time?

This week we George’s sister is training a new caregiver for mom.  This new caregiver will work from 4-8PM five days a week (Monday through Friday).  It was inevitable that more caregivers would be added to assist with mom.  George’s health issue has forced us into transitioning to the next care phase for mom sooner than we expected.  It is not unwelcome, but it is a change for everyone.   

We have been telling mom for about a week that there would be a new caregiver in her life.  She has been fighting us tooth and nails on this issue insisting that she is just fine by herself.  She has been cranky, combative, crying.  Just minutes prior to the caregiver arriving for the first time she had been arguing with Rosemary.  Then, when the caregiver arrived, she jumped up and hugged her and told her it was nice to see her again (though she has never met her before).  I call this the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde syndrome she has.  She will be gnarly with us and turn around to her caregivers and daycare and turn on the sugar.  It can be quite frustrating!

Having added caregivers will enable George and I to have a little more down time, time to go out for dinners, time to sit and relax, take a walk. It should reduce my stress level just a tad bit.  This will have more impact on me since I am the one used to jumping up every twenty to thirty minutes to make sure she has her dinner and her medications, make sure that she is not doing things she should not be doing. It is a strange feeling to have some of the load lifted.  I am not used to just sitting down in the evenings with no place to go.  I don’t know what I will do with all this extra time!  I am sure I will get used to it.   

For now it will allow me to go play my monthly Bunco (like tonight) – without having to remind George what does or does not need to be done.  It will enable us to have dinner out with friends or just go out on our own and not have to rush home. We can even run out and do some shopping!

In a few weeks it will give me the time I need to concentrate on George’s healing from surgery.  That will be my primary focal point for a while.

We are fortunate that George’s sister will be able to step up to the plate and handle the other “off hours” (8PM to 7AM) for the times that I need to be away from home or when I need the extra sleep. 

This period of time will be all about allowing others to step up and help where it is needed. In a “I can do it myself” world, this is a hard change to make.  Necessary, but still hard. There will be more changes ahead – even if there was no cancer in our world there would be more changes – and we will need to adapt to those changes in our lives like shifting sand . . . as gracefully as we possibly can.