The “C” Word

I am not sure if I understand God’s humor and his wisdom right now.  I have yet to determine just exactly which one he is imparting on us right now.

Our day had started off ordinarily enough.  Getting Mom up and ready for Sarahcare, having breakfast, and then we starting off to accomplish a few errands.  In the middle of one of those errands George looked at me with a strange face and said, “Oh no.”  At first I was thinking he forgot his credit card but he then said that he was having the start of the same kind of pain he had when he passed a kidney stone back in 2007. 

We quickly went home to deposit the items we had purchased that morning and to assess whether or not a trip to the emergency room was in order.  In short order the pain level increased significantly and we found our way to the hospital.

Although we made it into a room quickly, we ended up waiting longer than the prior trip for a doctor or nurse to come in.  It was probably an hour before a pain medication was given and almost two before they hung an IV with liquids in it.  In the mean time George went through the routine test for kidney stone; blood and urine samples and a CT scan.  And then we waited and waited.

The doctor finally made his way to our room and the first thing he said was, “Do you have any other health issues going on?”  George replied that he did not and then the next words out of his mouth were shocking.  The radiology report indicated peritoneal cancer “seeds” that had metastasized.  He asked if George had undergone a colonoscopy and, yes, he had one done within the last year and it did not show anything cancerous.  He went on to say that we would need to follow up with our regular doctor for more tests to determine the point of origin.  And just like that our lives are turned upside down. 

Disbelief…. Shock…. Concern…. Worry… Plans?? 

Kidney stone?  What’s that?  Yes, he has a small kidney stone to pass but that seems so insignificant compared to the “C” word. 

Is this God’s sense of humor trying to make us scared and telling us that we need to appreciate what we have – because maybe it isn’t cancer, maybe it’s something else.  Maybe it will turn out to be something serious but something that is treatable and curable?  Will we laugh when we look back at this?

Or is this God’s sense of wisdom, allowing us to have a more time to plan and “end of life” plan.  If this is indeed what the initial prognosis is, it is not good.  If we had not gone in to find this kidney stone, this cancer would have gone undetected until very late in the game.  Too late to do any planning. 

Whatever it is, I don’t like it.  I don’t like it at all.  When Mike died it was totally unexpected, happened in a moment.  This time, if terminal cancer is George’s fate, I will have to watch it play out.  Neither way is acceptable. I can only pray that this is a treatable and curable cancer as that is easier to swallow than the other option. But God has a plan…. and now we have to wait a few more days for this plan to play out in our lives.