The C Word – A New Battle Day 24 - Spending Time in Recovery

Cancer and other major diseases affect not only the patient but the caregivers as well.  It takes a toll on both persons in emotional and physical ways in different ways but affects them both nonetheless. 

For George, the physical toll is immense.  To have so many major organs taken over a period of two years is, in some ways, catastrophic.  While he only had a large portion of one “organ” removed during this most recent surgery, the doctor reiterated over and over that this was a “big operation”.  As George’s body tries to adapt with the change it makes him physically tired.  After two years of surgeries and recoveries he is tired of being tired all the time and wonders if he’ll ever have any strength again. 

He has to keep reminding himself (like the last time), that he should not do day-to-day comparisons but week by week or looking back even more than that.  One day he does better than the next and he feels as though that is a step back until he looks at the bigger picture.  Then he can see improvement. 

We are trying to take a walk every evening – and maybe once during the day if time permits.  He is working on his 1000 calorie a day challenge and is doing pretty well.  Tonight I made bison burgers and gave him 1/8 of a pound as well as a few cooked green beans and a sliver of fresh pear.  His belly was a little bit disturbed and as I tried to give him his G-tube meds a short while after dinner I ended up allowing some fluid to drain off his belly. 

And, as he sits in his chair day after day the recovery takes an emotional toll as well.  Feeling helpless.  Frustrated.  Worried about the toll this is all taking on me as well.

As for me, I find that although I am sleeping better these past few nights, by midafternoon my eyes are needing props to stay open.  Just about the time I am ready to nod off, it is time to prepare for and administer the IV medications and wait for them to run their course.  Then I hop on over to the couch and close my eyes for an hour or so, sometimes napping, sometimes just needing to lay still for a short period of time. 

A good deal of my time during the morning is spent getting meds administered, putting together some breakfast for each of us, a few household chores here and there, and then cleaning the various ports and wounds on George.  A few hours later I can sit for a little while.  The middle portion of the day is the least busy for now.  And then the evening things start ramping up again.  Probably the hardest part is staying up to do the last of the meds from 11 to 11:45PM.  Our “normal” routine is to be in bed by around 8PM and I would be asleep by 9 or so. That routine is changed in the short term.  Maybe two more weeks of meds and feeding tube.  Once George is disconnected from things we should go back to our old routine.  For now, I will be a tad bit sleep deprived but functional!! 

The emotional part for me is watching George endure what he is going through.  Physically he needs help with things throughout the day so I am up and down, in and out of my chair fairly often. 

We are learning how to work together – with George knowing that there are times I just need to do my own things. He knows when I go to crash on the couch that I obviously need it and he will sit quietly and not call on me for anything.  Today he took a half shower for the first time in nearly a month.  It was quite an ordeal for him – and we used the shower in his mom’s place (now unoccupied).  It’s amazing how things we take for granted consume so much energy when one is recovering. 

 I will start easing back into my work schedule this coming week.  Since there are still 2 antibiotics and some pain meds to work with, I will get all the morning stuff completed early and then head to work for a couple of hours, needing to be home by noon.  The following week maybe more days but the same hours.  By the third week I should be able to do longer days as he will be done with all the rounds of medications. 

He looks forward to getting rid of all the “jewelry” as he call it (feeding tube, drain, etc.) as life will be so much easier.  I look forward to that as well.