The “C” Word – Day 78 Turning around

I am hoping that we have started to turn the corner.  Things have been improving ever so slightly.

It took a full day or two for the Benadryl to wear out of George’s system.  Although the transfusion may have given some energy because it raised his blood count and helped with the anemia, the Benadryl gave him less energy to use. 

On the plus side, the mouthwash and pills for the mouth sores has had very good results.  The lips and tongue are nice and clear.  It will take a while for his taste buds to grow back but every once so often he gets a sliver of taste.  He is still not eating a lot – under 500 calories a day is my guess.  He is getting cravings – but can only eat small amounts of whatever it is. Today it was a bagel with shmear from Noahs’ Bagels.   I told him he needs to promise that he will have at least one nutritional drink a day whether it is Ensure, Ensure Clear or Muscle Milk.  Or maybe his mouth will be up for a good Jamba Juice soon.  That will help!!

He still is getting edema, mainly in his feet – and usually one foot or the other, not consistently the same.  He keeps them somewhat elevated all day but a sitting position does not allow them to be higher than his heart.  And he still cannot lay flat so that the feet can be elevated.  However, at night it helps that he is more reclined than during the day.  I have given a few foot massages in hopes of moving some of the fluid around.  It would help if he got up and walked around a bit more during the day and got the blood pumping on its own.  Hopefully as he gets more strength that will happen more. 

Yesterday he treated me and Sara to pedicures and lunch out [he did not go – he helped pay for it].  Something “fun” for me to do as there has not been a whole lot of fun in my life of late.  He recognizes that. We have had some discussions especially when I get very frustrated.  He knows I am trying to help when I nag yet he finds it physically and mentally impossible to sometimes do what I am asking.  I try to back off some but have a hard time finding the balance between nagging and reminding.  He says I did a better job today. 

Today we spent doing a lot of nothing.  Although I slept pretty well last night I am still quite tired.  And he was not able to sleep much at all last night yet he hasn’t done too much sleeping today either.  He catnapped here and there but not really very well.  He is having some difficulty breathing, not all the time but in certain positions.  I told him he needs to be proactive and contact the doctor about any concerns he might have and not wait until whenever the next appointment happens to be.

I find that I am missing sleeping in my bed but with his problems he spends the night moving the head of the bed up and down (we have an adjustable bed) and also has problems with leakage from his mouth when his CPAP is on so it is best for me not to share a bed with him right now.  Until he can roll over and sleep on his side we will be “separate sleepers”.  This, of course, does nothing to appease the fact that we need to experience some “together” time… so every once in a while we might actually sit side by side on one of our couches – it might involve hand holding – and sometimes it might also involve putting soft music on and just sitting with or without conversation.  That’s about the extent of what intimacy will look like in our house for the time being. 

Where we are now is ahead of where we were a week ago.  We still have a long way to go – but we have to accept the small strides.  We wish it would go faster, we are not where we thought we would be by this point in time.  I guess we need to remember to be grateful that we are here at all because certainly, 2 ½ months ago we did not think we would have a chance of surviving this “c” word.  Yet, here we are – and we will come through this.