Saturday, August 23, 2014

The C Word – Day 14 Craving Normal

Today is awful for me.  The house is too quiet.  George does not want to nor care to do anything.  I am listless and just want to get out and LIVE!  Between caring for George’s mom which has tied us down – and now this, is there a point in which I get to scream “Let’s get out of Dodge!” and then just DO it!  If there is, today would be the day. 
After spending two weeks “waiting”, not going anywhere and, with the exception of work (and my couple of early AM workouts) and now this next “waiting” period until September 5th I am likely to go stir crazy.
I think George thought that I may have been kidding when I remarked to his sister yesterday that, “you might get a phone call saying we want to get out of town for the evening or the night”.  Honestly, I couldn’t be farther from the truth.  If the next few months are to be mired down in appointments, surgeries, chemotherapy – then I really do need a vacation NOW!  It wouldn’t be the vacation I had hoped for, but at least get out and try to find some normalcy, that would be nice.  This may be the only chance we have to do something that, not only is non-cancer related, but is non-mom related as well.  Aside from a CT scan, there is nothing else needing to be done for two weeks.  
While George would prefer to sit and do nothing, scourging the internet for more news on the diagnosis, looking at survival rates, procedures, etc. I would prefer to live in THIS moment and finding some good stuff to think about for awhile. The only thing that has changed between two weeks ago and now is that we “know” something isn’t right… other than that there are no symptoms associated with the disease that would prevent us from getting away.  
Like The Cat in the Hat… I do not like this, I do not like this at all. 
… and the old Calgon commercial… “Take me away!”
… and the movie title, “Something’s Gotta Give”. 

Now, if I could only convince my husband…..

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