The “C” Word - The Next Chapter, Day 10 - Freedom

Definition for freedom:

NOUN

1.         The state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint: He won his freedom after a retrial.

2.         Exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

3.         The power to determine action without restraint.

4.         Political or national independence.

5.         Personal liberty, as opposed to bondage or slavery: a slave who bought his freedom.

Today is the 4^th of July – known as Independence Day.  This day was set aside in the U.S. to observe the freedoms that came from being independent of another nation.  It was a hard fought battle for us to get to that point.

It continues to be a battle, more so in recent years as there are almost daily attacks on our freedom around the globe and, unfortunately, also on our own turf.  We continue to fight for the freedoms such as religious, speech, and so on. 

Another definition of freedom is defined as “personal liberty”.  I could translate that as “freedom of responsibility”.  This was the case for me when Mom was recently moved to a memory care facility.  I cannot express what it felt for me to be free of the responsibility of caring for her on a daily basis.  The relief was instantaneous.  The burden of care lifted from that “simple” act felt as if tons of weight had been lifted from my shoulders.  Co-workers and clients noticed that I acted differently (something I was not even aware of).  Sometimes having responsibilities shifting to another can be freeing!

Yet another definition of freedom is “exemption from external control, interference….”  That is what we are personally striving for when it comes to the cancer.  We want a body free from this horrible, external force that can be, at times, so debilitating that we cannot enjoy the other freedoms mentioned above.  When every waking moment is spent internally battling the forces raging inside you cannot enjoy life itself.  Every twinge, every ache, every movement makes you wonder “Is it back?”, “Is it growing?” followed by “Will I ever feel decent again?” or “Will there ever be a day I don’t think about this?”  It tends to reign supreme over every other piece of life itself.  While we are envious of those who are NED (No Evidence of Disease), I am sure even those people are still looking over their shoulder wondering if or when it may come back. 

For every victory of freedom a hard fought battle has taken place.  No one gets to the point of victory without first going through pain, loss or hardship.  Those moments make the victory taste sweeter for, as we know, it takes the valleys of our lives to make the mountain tops feel so beautiful. 

We are currently in the valley of this cancerous journey.  The bad days are more frequent than the good days.  With surgery pending, this is going to be a long hike through the valley.  There will be moments of happy times and glimpses of the sun as we take this journey once again.  We plan on fighting as hard as we can.  With our God watching over us, we pray for healing.  We pray that someday soon George can say, “I am free!  Free at last!” of this dead disease. This would be the consummate freedom for us to have here on earth.  To be free from disease so we can get back to the process of living life to the Glory of our God

The “C” Word - The Next Chapter, Day 8 - Caring for the Caregiver

After a super crazy week of sleepless nights and busy days - - and knowing that in a very short while my “me” time will be anything but - - I took advantage of a free afternoon and booked a massage…. A 90 minute massage (first time for one that long).

Since I have been working out, I knew my shoulders and neck were in serious need of some kneading.  Sixty minutes was not long enough to take care of that.  Felis was a very good masseuse and spent considerable time trying to loosen up the upper back, shoulders and neck. After finishing up with the massage, I headed straight for the chiropractors’ office so she could do the “final adjustment” of my neck and spine.  AHhhhhhh, yes.  I needed that as well. She noted that the last time I was in was March 2015, so I was long overdue!

It felt good to pamper me.  And I am making a vow to get a massage a month as it is the best way to ensure that I get an hour or so of “me” time to relax the mind and muscles some.  I know that recovery for George will take months.  Since he is going into this one with a lot less energy than the last time, he is afraid of how long it will take him to bounce back. 

I don’t know about other spouse caregivers, but I find when I am in caregiving mode it is difficult to be “just a wife”.  When our spouse comes out of a horrific surgery (and now George has had two – one for cancer and one for the neck, so upcoming surgery is #3 in under two years), they are in a lot of pain, on a lot of meds for a time, and so just trying to cuddle or snuggle as a spouse is difficult because you have to be so careful how you touch them.  And, since that is the only form of intimacy that is viable for weeks or months after major surgery (aside from, perhaps, hand holding), it is easy to lose sight of the “spouse” and stay in caregiving mode.  I know I had a very difficult time trying to step out of caregiving mode after the neck surgery (especially since I was caregiving for George AND for his mom).  I am wondering how other caregivers deal with this?

I remember when I helped my mom care for my dad in his last weeks.  By the time I arrived to help, Dad had declined to the point that he was pretty much bedridden.  I helped change him and/or get on the bedside commode.  My sister thought that pretty brave of me and commented that she could never do that.  I explained to her that when I had to do that for my dad, it was as though a switch went off in my brain and I ceased being a daughter in that moment and became a caregiver.  When I was done changing him or whatever personal care I had to do for him, I then switched off the caregiver and went back to being a daughter.  That brain switch was easier when it was my dad.  It is harder as a spouse. 

I know George hates that he has to rely on me so much.  He knows that I will do most anything for him (and, indeed I have had to do a lot of things I never thought I would have to do for him).  I know he longs to be whole again, to be “normal” again… but we have what they call a “new normal”… it is unknown territory and it is very fluid, always changing.  We don’t know from one day to the next if things will change yet again.  I have always been pretty flexible – able to change direction pretty easily and take things in stride no matter what happens in life.  Yes, there have been times I totally struggled with that change, been angry or sad or resentful.  The struggles are usually short-lived.  I get over it, get past it and move on.  “Life happens” - - and I try not to let the bad times rule.

For at least the past month or two I have had some moments of being “just a wife”.  We have tried to create some special moments.  We thought we were going to have another month or two of being able to do that.  But, alas, that is not in the playbook just yet.  In a short 18 days as George heads back for another major surgery, another MOAS surgery, I will kick back into full time caregiving mode to ensure that George is well taken care of, to advocate for him, to comfort him, to do whatever I can to make him as comfortable as possible.  How long it will last is anyone’s guess.

So, yesterday was a treat to myself.  And, unlike the last time, I vow that at least once a month I continue to do that.  To stretch out on a table and have someone knead the knots that have formed and push them out of my body so I can be re-energized … or maybe it will be to step out and spend time with a friend or two… but I know I have to “take care of me” sometimes, make time that is just for me, in order for me to be the best caregiver (and wife) that I can be.  

The “C” Word - The Next Chapter, Day 6 - Time Table speeds up

Since the CT scan George has had more difficult days with his digestive system.  He had been having nausea and vomiting spells since June 1 (ever 4-7 days) and most were relieved after a few hours.  The night after the CT scan brought on another spell – probably some related to all the barium he had to drink.  Saturday he stayed low key and did not eat at all until dinnertime when he had something light.  He was fine on Sunday and Monday.  Then, on Tuesday it started again.  This time though he had more painful cramping and mostly dry heaves.  After six hours of him going back and forth to the bathroom (thinking he had to go to the bathroom OR feeling the need to vomit) I finally asked, “When is this enough? You’ve ready on the FB page that small bowel obstructions (SBO) can be common and that what you are experiencing appears to be the same type of symptoms.  So when is it time to get this checked out.  It’s been six hours and you are still in a lot of pain and still spending all of your time between the chair/bed and the bathroom.”  He agreed and, at 11:15PM we were off to the ER.  There they did blood work and an X-ray.  The X-ray showed no visible obstructions.  The blood work showed low potassium.  So he was pumped with fluids and given potassium.  Given pain and nausea meds.  We were home about 2 hours after arriving. 

George slept relatively well but after waking still felt a little queasy.  I headed out to find a pharmacy open early so I could fill the prescriptions we’d been given so I could get to work.  By the time that was done it was 9AM.  At 1PM George called and said he thought he needed to go back to the ER.  I left work, headed home and picked him up.  In the waiting room I texted Dr. Bastidas and let him know we were in the ER and that George had been having issues with vomiting and nausea and we were not sure if it was related to the cancer. (Note:  We picked up the CT scan disk and the printed report on Saturday and, on reading it, learned that there were more lesions/tumors than prior test last fall.  A bit disconcerting.)  Dr. Bastidas then stayed in touch with the ER doctor to help figure out the next step.  After 5 hours the choice was (1) be admitted to help keep symptoms controlled or (2) go home and try to keep symptoms controlled.  We let them know that the Zofran did not appear to work very well so they said we could add a suppository to help.  He was discharged about 7PM (the ER was super busy!)  My friend, Judy, had arrived at the hospital just as we were leaving.  She followed us home and stayed with George while I ran to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled. 

George went to bed about 8:45 and I stayed downstairs to just catch my breath.  Dr. Bastidas phoned about 9:45 and I filled him in on what had transpired.  He asked a few questions and said he was on call this weekend if George had problems retaining food and needed to be admitted for IV nutrition.  I let him know that we had an appointment with him at 9:15 and we would see him then. 

George still had a few episodes of vomiting in the early part of the night – the last time being just before midnight.  The suppository finally kicked in and he slept the rest of the night.  In order to ensure that things stayed as calm as possible, I woke him up at 2:30 and 5AM to give him meds.  (The time in between those I could not get back to sleep.  So my sleep was 12-2:30AM and 5:30-7:30AM.)

As we drove to see Dr. B, George said he was actually feeling pretty good.  As we went in to the office, Dr. B was already asking his assistant to cue up a team and asking for it to be done next week!  Whoa! 

Dr. Bastidas sat down with us and reviewed our past history (this was done for the benefit of his intern).  He explained to us the probably cause of George’s current digestive issues.  Apparently there is a tumor at the base of his stomach near the duodena that is causing some restriction as food leaves the stomach.  So, if George has eaten something that temporarily “gets stuck” there, it will cause cramping and vomiting to expel it.  It makes sense that once George has ‘gotten rid” of food that he feels better.  We are not sure why we had such a prolonged period of these spells in the past 2 days because George’s belly should have been emptied sooner. 
Dr. Bastidas also spoke about the different types of chemotherapy available for cancer (most do not apply to PMP).  This, again, was for the benefit of the intern.  He also spoke about a treatment available that looks very promising for certain types of cancers (Lynch syndrome, I think).  This treatment has so much potential the Dr. George Fischer at Stanford decided not to retire because he is so excited.)

We looked over the CT scan with Dr. B and he showed us where there were tumors or possible tumors.  Then we sat down and discussed the “when”.  His biggest concern is that George get enough nutrients to stay healthy.  Given that George was feeling pretty good today, the decision was made to use meds and diet to try to keep George comfortable for a few weeks.  Dr. B will be gone from 7/14-7/18 so surgery would need to be before or after that.  Given that there can be complications and we really want him to be around after surgery, we decided on the week of July 18. (Note: Date is 7/20/16)   By doing this we can do all the things we have planned over the next few weeks.  First, I need to be at work next week as one staff is out on vacation and our staffing is already low.  Second, we have a planned meeting of some local PMP survivors in Stockton on July 9^th.  (Coming from Sacramento, Stockton and Dublin) We really want to have some personal connection with others because people with other cancers cannot relate to what they have gone through.  July 9^th also happens to be George’s birthday.  The next day we will get the twins who will be with us for a week to attend VBS and hang out with George (aka Poppy).  They are looking forward to coming for the week and Poppy is looking forward to having them here. 

Now, things are moving full speed ahead.  Part of us is reeling from the fact that the surgery date had to be moved so close given that George now has symptoms of the disease taking hold. (Note:  This is the first time he has ever been symptomatic in the entire time he has had the cancer.)  We had hoped to make it through most of the summer and maybe get away for a short bit.  Instead, we will enjoy as much as we can the next few weeks.  Although relieved to find out that the cancer has not attacked the liver, kidney, etc. and is still contained to the outside of the organs, the prospect of having surgery happen in under three weeks is cause for some anxiety.  The surgery will still take at least the same amount of time as the first one (7-8 hours) because the doctor has to “undo” some of the connections in order to adequately get to the tumors and ensure that the areas are as clean as possible.  The HIPEC team will be available and, as long as he can remove all visible tumors, will proceed.  For me, that is the most anxious part – waiting to hear the “Go” of “No Go” a few hours after surgery has begun.  I pray that we once again get the “Go” to proceed.

Our battle against this dread disease starts up again.  Our faith remains strong.  Our prayer warriors have begun to do battle with us.  We are so grateful for the love and support that pours out.  No doubt the prayers led us back to the ER where a doctor knew to give us just that extra “boost” in meds to alleviate the GI spells.  (She even called this afternoon to check in with us.  That’s a first!)  Grateful to have the best surgeon (in our eyes) on our side.
Photo below was of our recent "adventure" day trip to Monterey (actually were only there for 2 hours - basically ate and then found this shop).  The "poop" emoji is popular with PMP folk - because most of them have lost portions of their bowels during the MOAS (mother of all surgeries) and thus this is an issue for them.  I look forward to many, many more smiles like this once we get through this surgery and are on the recovery side of things.

The “C” Word - The Next Chapter, Day 1 - CT Scan completed

Today was the CT scan which will begin the process for the next surgery.  George awoke early to start drinking his “banana smoothie” aka Barium. 

On the way to the hospital I inquired as to how he was doing.  He looked fairly calm.  This is the easy part.  The hard part is waiting for the next 6 days until our appointment with the surgeon.  Until that meeting, there will be some level of anxiety as he fears what the tests will show. 

This being the “easy” part – was not so easy.  George was late being escorted back to the room (and I had told him they would probably make him drink some more barium as so much time had lapsed – and that did happen).  After an hour of waiting I finally went to the counter to ask where he was as the test should only take 10 minutes or so.  A little while longer if they have trouble finding veins.  Apparently that was the case today.  Two nurses, one doctor, an ultrasound machine and 9 sticks later they finally got the IV needle in. 

Ironically, the doctor that they called in to assist was Dr. Wright.  George recognized the name.  This was the doctor that was on duty when he had his needle biopsy for the cancer (before we knew what it was).  He worked at O’Connor hospital at that time.  He is the one that tried to draw off the fluid from his belly but couldn’t because it was so thick.  He is the one that whispered to the nurse off in the corner after the procedure and on his way out of the room patted George on the arm and said “Good luck”.  He did not make us feel very good. 

After our appointment (which took a little over 2 hours from the time we entered for admissions until they were done), we went out for a bite to eat and then home for George to try to get some more sleep.  An hour or two after getting home, George experienced another bout of nausea and vomiting and spent a few hours back and forth to the bathroom.

Note: At a doctor appointment earlier this week we found out that George has anemia.  The nurse practitioner says that we have to figure out the cause and, after telling her about the nausea spells (4 since June 1), she suspects George may have an ulcer.  She put George on Prilosec to see if that will help.  I think we will be seeing the GI doctor sooner than later to ensure this is not an issue going forward. 

We see the surgeon on Thursday, June 30 to start cuing up the next surgery.  

The “C” Word 1 year and 10 months Time to plan for MOAS #2

As I sit here today it seems like forever ago that George underwent the Mother of All Surgeries (MOAS).  But as I look at the date it was exactly 22 months ago that we received the diagnosis that cancer had invaded his belly (and it would be about 2-3 weeks after that when we found out what we were dealing with).  22 months … Just 670 days ago.  In reality, not that long – but it seems as though it is forever ago. 

So much has taken place in those 670 days.  The MOAS surgery – just over 7 hours in length followed by a 16 day stay in the hospital and a subsequent 5 day stay just a few weeks later.  Agonizing months of recovery, countless hours of frustration both for George and for myself.  Just as we thought things were getting better, discovering recurrence (or possible missed tumors from the initial surgery).  More anxiety.  A second scan determined that, indeed, there were 2 or 3 growths and another surgery date was set – but not until after the holidays so we can enjoy them.  But… THEN – a broken neck put that surgery on hold while we figured out what to do for the neck.  A second year of holidays’ spent in a recovery mode of sorts as the neck surgery would not take place until after the holidays. 

More recovery – this one almost more difficult than that the MOAS if that is even possible – for this one involved inability to use his arms for weeks after the surgery.  This one was much more inconvenient for both of us on many levels – physical and emotionally draining. 

And now, the neck is adequately healed and we are able to start the process for scheduling the next surgery.  We went right from the neck surgeons office to Dr. Bastidas’ office across the street and put in the request for a CT scan, the first step in this process.  We hope this next surgery will be more successful as there is not as much disease to come out at before.  However, there may be other issues affecting the outcome depending on scar tissue, fissure, etc.  We will not know how these affect the actual surgery – and nor will Dr. Bastidas until he has “eyes” on the belly.  If HIPEC is used again, we are told this surgery will take as long as the first one.  Another long day. … Another long day of anesthesia.

If I have learned anything it is that George has more and more memory issues due to the anesthesia … and also that he will remember very little in the weeks after surgery when he is on pain medication.  I was not aware of how bad this issue was until discovering that there are details he is definitely missing about things that have taken place in recent months- - even though at the time he appeared to be very aware of things.  And, with another round of anesthesia and medications, this scenario could very much be aggravated more than before as the effect is cumulative.  I do not like this, I do not like this at all. 

If there is one “silver lining” in this journey, it is the fact that the George and Rosemary finally determined that it was time to place their mom in assisted living.  Throughout the course of the past two years, even though we have had caregivers or daycare for parts of the days during the week, after hours and weekend care had fallen to me.  During George’s “good months” it was not a huge issue (just inconvenient for us to be able to make any spur of the moment plans), but during the hard times it has meant trying to give BOTH of them the care they need and that was sometimes difficult.  While Rosemary was available to fill in when needed, she also suffers from physical issues and her ability to care for mom is compromised.  This move for mom has lifted such a burden from me that I could physically FEEL freedom.  We are free to roam about and do as we please at least for a few short months until the next surgery.  I should say that although we now HAVE that ability, the reality is that any “adventures” we do take are limited to what George is able to handle.  His stamina is quite low – and belly issues can crop up without notice – so no big trips are planned during this time.  We do hope to take some short weekend jaunts or daytime excursions when we can. 

George is already experiencing pre-scan anxiety, or scanxiety as some of the others with this disease will say.  When he reads others stories online, some bring comfort and others cast doubt about the success rate of this horrible cancer.  George’s is the less aggressive form which is a good thing.  But the more surgeries done, the more organs that are removed, the less the quality of life.  We pray that the “removal” list remains slim this second time around. 

So now – the countdown begins – the countdown to the next surgery.  I pray every day for George to find peace within himself and that he try not to let the worry get the best of him.  I pray that these next few months bring renewed strength in preparation for surgery, renewed resolve to beat this cancer.  God IS on our side!  (and a whole lotta people, too!)

The “C” Word 1 year plus 176 days Standing Tall

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activities.  Starting with a visit to a new surgeon for a second opinion.  Dr. R as he is called (his name is very long, Rustamzadeh) who, after a brief review of the CT and other scans, basically confirmed the surgery that was necessary BUT who said it would take about 4 hours total.  Oh my gosh – that was less than half the time of the VMC surgeon.  He also said the hospital stay would be just a few days.  Interestingly he said that the CTO brace should never have been an option as the bones would not have fused by themselves with George’s bone disorder. He said if we had seen him after fairly soon after the fall he would only have needed to do surgery from the back of the neck, not the front and the back. Hindsight being 20/20, we probably should have sought out a second opinion right after the hospital discharge in December.  But we did not know that George had this disorder and we also hoped to be able to avoid a surgery altogether.

Once we received the second opinion the whirlwind of pre-op activity took place.  First stop was a cardiologist to get “cardiac release” that George’s heart would not have any issues.  Right after that was an echocardiogram which was interesting to do with the brace on.  All of that went well and surgery was scheduled for February 19^th.  The week of surgery we needed to have labs and a chest xray.  The night before we had to do a special preparation including full shower and special scrub to begin the “disinfecting” process.

Surgery day we awoke at 4:30AM, got up and dressed and to the hospital by 5:30AM.  Surgery was at 7:30AM and I was able to stay with George until they wheeled him into the operating room.  Then, the long wait began.  Although 4 hours was the estimated time, that came and went.  We constantly watched the status on the wall which said “8589 Surgery/procedure in progress”.  Wait…. Wait… Nothing changed until about 1:45 when it said, “Closing”.  Keith and I “high-fived” each other!  The end was near!  About 25 minutes later it changed to “Finished”.  Another high five!  Shortly after that the surgeon came down and let us know that it went very well.  He showed us an xray of the “after” affect and it was amazing.  He actually straightened George’s neck to an upright position. So he may actually be back to the height he thought he was (a few months back when they measure him he was 2 inches shorter). The reason it took longer was because George’s vertebrae were so frozen it took them awhile to open the neck back up and get it in place.  It was several more hours before George would leave the recovery room.

FINALLY, at 6PM his bed rolled by the waiting room on the way to his room in the Orthopedic Pavilion.  Steph was able to stay for a short while.  Then the first long night began.  George was pretty groggy and on dilaudid for pain management.  This tends to make him chatty.  So between groggy and chatty he was fairly entertaining.  Kept asking about who had stopped by.  Asking how long the surgery was.  Same conversations repeated.  I felt like I was home with his mom!! 

I was not able to fully go to sleep until after 10:30PM and awakened by him at 3PM asking for pain medication.  Again at 5AM to use the bathroom.  Today has been a day of adjusting and readjusting pillows and blankets.  The brace against the back of his neck has been very uncomfortable.  Sometimes, just as he gets comfortable – a change…. Perhaps it is to use the bathroom or when a therapist comes in.  Of course, nothing is easy as there are pillows and blankets to move away, finger cuffs to take off, leg circulation braces to come off and good ol’ “Chromium Chrissy” needs to be unplugged to take with him.  And when he returns to bed it all has to be put back in place.  What a cycle!  It can be frustrating because sometimes he takes it out on me.  I prefer when company is here because he tends to be more pleasant. 

The progress made today was that he can now have ice chips to eat and is getting some pills by mouth as a test to see if he does okay swallowing.  He also was up and did a short walk down to the nurses station and back.  Tomorrow they will add liquid nutrition to his regime.  And more OT and PT.  We are not sure if we will go home on Monday or on Tuesday, but they are definitely moving him in that direction.

I have a feeling it is going to be a long couple of weeks until his neck doesn’t feel so tender anymore and the pain level subsides.  I look forward to a day when he is able to do more for himself.  I know he hates being reliant on others (i.e., mostly me) to take care of even the simplest of tasks.  It takes its’ toll on his sense of self.  It is equally hard on me because there is a physical and an emotional demand that sometimes feels so constant I can never truly relax.  For, just like December, every time I sit down he tends to need something.  Or at least that is how it can seem.  

The “C” Word 1 year plus 153 days More twists and turns

 “God can suddenly shift things” (quoted just now as I watched Joel Osteen).  Truer words were never spoken.  In 2014 George was doing well until a kidney stone scan showed cancer.  He was doing so much better after 15 months and, bam, a fall causes a neck break. 

I had a couple of “kisses from the King” today in the form of messages from televangelist Joel Osteen.  We have found some of his weekly messages to be spot on with where we are.  Today, even his daily message spoke to us.  It went as follows:

“Delivered from All

Everyone has times when they feel overwhelmed or “outnumbered” by the things that are coming against them. You may have heard the saying, “When it rains, it pours.” For example, just about the time the air conditioner needs repair in your house, the transmission goes out in your car. It seems like one thing happens after another. It may feel as if all of the forces of darkness are coming against you. But the scripture promises that with God on your side, you have all the resources you need to have complete victory. You are never outnumbered because the Greater One lives in you!

The next time you’re feeling anxious, fearful or worried about anything, remember, He’s on your side. If God is for you, who can be against you? He promises to guide and protect you and lead you into victory in every area of your life!

“Father, thank You for Your faithfulness to me. Thank You for Your peace even in the midst of the storms of life. I know that You are with me, and I can stand strong because You will lead me into victory all the days of my life in Jesus’ name. Amen.”  “

Wow… that IS our life.  Just when we think things are under control something else comes up and throws off our course.  A saying that can be heard around here lately is, “We just can’t seem to catch a break!” 

The past seven weeks have been tortuous for George.  The brace he has to wear 24/7 is bulky and uncomfortable.  It constantly irritates his chin.  He can’t take a decent shower.  There are a few areas under the brace that haven’t had a super good cleansing in all this time.  He gets bored sitting at home all day, all week and looks forward to Fridays when I am off and I can take him with me for a couple of small errands.  The highlights of his days are when people drop by for a visit – or when is able to take a walk around the block with a buddy.  Companionship. 

This week we found out that the brace has not worked at all.  In fact, after his CT scan on Tuesday he got a call early Wednesday from Lan saying they were ordering an MRI stat – for that afternoon and they moved his appointment today up from the afternoon to the morning.  Needless to say, we were quite alarmed by the sense of urgency. 

We met with Dr. Menon this morning to find out what is going on.  It turns out that George’s neck is bending too far.  Since his neck is one long bone, the break is acting like a lever and the top is starting to bend.  He has gone from a 10 degree angle before the accident to 27 degree angle now.  The photo is quite disconcerting. 

Dr. Menon recommends a surgery called a “corpectomy”.  Described in spine-health.com as follows: “ When the cervical disease encompasses more than just the disc space, the spine surgeon may recommend removal of the vertebral body as well as the disc spaces at either end to completely decompress the cervical canal.”  It involves two separate surgeries hopefully performed on the same day.  The first surgery goes through the front of the neck and addresses the removal of some of the vertebrae bone which would then be replaced by a “piston” and packed with some of the bone material.  Then a plate would be put in place to stabilize the front. The second surgery would be done from the back where they would put screws in the bones to stabilize the back.  Surgery would take approximately ten hours.  That is a LONGER surgery than his CRS/HIPEC surgery. 

The goal of surgery is to restore the neck to where it was before the accident.  They will never be able to make it better than that.  There are risks involved as they will be very near the spinal column. 

We talked more about the disease in George’s spine.  He has DISH disease.  Diffuse Ideopathic Skeletal Hyperostosis.  Ideopathic means “of unknown origin”.  There is no known cause and no know treatment.  It is rare … I told George, “Honey, you really don’t have to be unique and have all these rare diseases!”  Most likely the disease has affected his whole spinal column which would explain why he cannot bend over very well.  His back may well be fusing into one long bone as well.  Gee, isn’t that great.  L 

We have an appointment with another surgeon recommended by our new “friend”, the nurse practitioner.  We will see if he has the same opinion and recommends the same surgery.  Then, we will need to plan a date for said surgery. 

 “God will lift you out of the pit.” (again, Joel Osteen).  Yes, we definitely need to be pulled out of this pit.  On the one hand we are grateful that George is alive and that we do have the option of the surgery and seem to have, once again, found a great surgeon (though we haven’t met him yet).  But on the other hand a ten hour surgery means long anesthesia and we know that wreaks havoc on George’s mental capacity. Not to mention the fact that we are facing another 7-8 hour cancer surgery once the neck issue is sufficiently healed.  Double edged-sword.  Really need help out of this pit!

As we watched Joel Osteen yet another nugget was spoken.  “The enemy cannot stop your path in life, God has the final say.  God hasn’t brought you this far to leave you.  The “second touch” is coming…. Anybody can give up, that’s easy.  Doubters are a dime a dozen.  Faith believers say “I may not see a way, but I know it will be shown to me.”” 

He then says that you need to be bold.  So we are asking for your second touch, dear Lord… give us a miracle again.  We know you have destined us for bigger and better things and are not done with our lives on this earth.