The “C” Word 1 year and 10 months Time to plan for MOAS #2

As I sit here today it seems like forever ago that George underwent the Mother of All Surgeries (MOAS).  But as I look at the date it was exactly 22 months ago that we received the diagnosis that cancer had invaded his belly (and it would be about 2-3 weeks after that when we found out what we were dealing with).  22 months … Just 670 days ago.  In reality, not that long – but it seems as though it is forever ago. 

So much has taken place in those 670 days.  The MOAS surgery – just over 7 hours in length followed by a 16 day stay in the hospital and a subsequent 5 day stay just a few weeks later.  Agonizing months of recovery, countless hours of frustration both for George and for myself.  Just as we thought things were getting better, discovering recurrence (or possible missed tumors from the initial surgery).  More anxiety.  A second scan determined that, indeed, there were 2 or 3 growths and another surgery date was set – but not until after the holidays so we can enjoy them.  But… THEN – a broken neck put that surgery on hold while we figured out what to do for the neck.  A second year of holidays’ spent in a recovery mode of sorts as the neck surgery would not take place until after the holidays. 

More recovery – this one almost more difficult than that the MOAS if that is even possible – for this one involved inability to use his arms for weeks after the surgery.  This one was much more inconvenient for both of us on many levels – physical and emotionally draining. 

And now, the neck is adequately healed and we are able to start the process for scheduling the next surgery.  We went right from the neck surgeons office to Dr. Bastidas’ office across the street and put in the request for a CT scan, the first step in this process.  We hope this next surgery will be more successful as there is not as much disease to come out at before.  However, there may be other issues affecting the outcome depending on scar tissue, fissure, etc.  We will not know how these affect the actual surgery – and nor will Dr. Bastidas until he has “eyes” on the belly.  If HIPEC is used again, we are told this surgery will take as long as the first one.  Another long day. … Another long day of anesthesia.

If I have learned anything it is that George has more and more memory issues due to the anesthesia … and also that he will remember very little in the weeks after surgery when he is on pain medication.  I was not aware of how bad this issue was until discovering that there are details he is definitely missing about things that have taken place in recent months- - even though at the time he appeared to be very aware of things.  And, with another round of anesthesia and medications, this scenario could very much be aggravated more than before as the effect is cumulative.  I do not like this, I do not like this at all. 

If there is one “silver lining” in this journey, it is the fact that the George and Rosemary finally determined that it was time to place their mom in assisted living.  Throughout the course of the past two years, even though we have had caregivers or daycare for parts of the days during the week, after hours and weekend care had fallen to me.  During George’s “good months” it was not a huge issue (just inconvenient for us to be able to make any spur of the moment plans), but during the hard times it has meant trying to give BOTH of them the care they need and that was sometimes difficult.  While Rosemary was available to fill in when needed, she also suffers from physical issues and her ability to care for mom is compromised.  This move for mom has lifted such a burden from me that I could physically FEEL freedom.  We are free to roam about and do as we please at least for a few short months until the next surgery.  I should say that although we now HAVE that ability, the reality is that any “adventures” we do take are limited to what George is able to handle.  His stamina is quite low – and belly issues can crop up without notice – so no big trips are planned during this time.  We do hope to take some short weekend jaunts or daytime excursions when we can. 

George is already experiencing pre-scan anxiety, or scanxiety as some of the others with this disease will say.  When he reads others stories online, some bring comfort and others cast doubt about the success rate of this horrible cancer.  George’s is the less aggressive form which is a good thing.  But the more surgeries done, the more organs that are removed, the less the quality of life.  We pray that the “removal” list remains slim this second time around. 

So now – the countdown begins – the countdown to the next surgery.  I pray every day for George to find peace within himself and that he try not to let the worry get the best of him.  I pray that these next few months bring renewed strength in preparation for surgery, renewed resolve to beat this cancer.  God IS on our side!  (and a whole lotta people, too!)