The C Word – The End is Near

This morning the breathy death rattle began.  I summoned the girls into the room and got hold of Rosemary and Denise.  Since 10AM this morning we have been sitting together in the bedroom, holding vigil over George.  He is unresponsive for the most part except for an occasional squeeze of the hand or what appears to be a perfectly timed twitch.

Sara and Becke have been fetching food and drinks for everyone.  Sitting on the floor or in chairs, we wait and wait.  I am at George’s head – softly stroking his head and holding his left hand, the one with the wedding band, the one we would jokingly claim as “mine”. 

This room has heard many stories today – some funny memories, some poignant memories, some tears.  Christian music in the background, quietly keeping our eyes on the goal. 

I’ve been able to keep George comfortable with various medications.  After ten hours we are now joking that George wants to pass on the 5 year anniversary of his first major surgery for this beast – tomorrow, September 30.  Of course, we pray peace comes sooner, but if he does plan on waiting, hopefully it will be right after the stroke of midnight and not later tomorrow.

Sara and Becke are now bringing Denise home and picking up clothes for Rosemary who will spend the night with us.  We are all in this together.  Patiently waiting for the hand of God to reach down and carry George home. 

I have whispered into George’s ears all day – it’s time to go home, we love you, your body is so tired, it’s time to let go.  I’ve whispered the Lord’s Prayer, or sung a song along with something playing on one of our phones. 

Steph is reading some bible verses to Rosemary, myself and George.  She has done well today in maintaining composure and being in the moment. 

The end is so near yet it is not here yet. 

Come, Lord Jesus, come bring your son home.

George – we love you so much and we will miss you.  We await to see your angel face.