The C Word – A New Battle Day 190 - Navigating the Dash

Since we are becoming older, the “opportunity” to attend funerals or memorials becomes more frequent.  Many of these refer to the dash on one tombstone or in ones obituary.  Before and after the dash is ones’ beginning date and ones’ expiration date.  What happens in between is called “LIFE”. 

11/20/1920 - 9/5/2006, 6/28/1924 – 7/29/2012, 11/4/1957 – 1/28/2000…. These are some of the significant dashes that have been part of my life. 

This month we celebrated a couple of birthdays this past week – 1/21/201x, 1/23/200x.  Life still young and to be lived.  Precious little girls.  So much for them to look forward to. A lot more “dash” yet to be seen.

In the past few months we’ve seen a few people whose dash has expired.  Some people’s dash comes quite unexpectedly as these folk did.  It caught people by surprise. 

This week marks seventeen years since my Mike died.  It seems incredulous that it has been that long.  His dash lasted just 42 years.  For Sara, it was half her life-time ago!  For Becke, longer than that.  There are still times I shed a tear or two when I think about the moments we’ve celebrated without him.  It was a dash that was well lived.

In reality, we all know that our dash will expire one day.  We do not know when, not exactly.  As the expiration date comes closer, sometimes we have an inkling, but we never truly know when our time is done.  Only our Father knows for sure. 

In my life there are now two people whose expiration date is on the horizon.  At least that’s what we think based on medical science. 

George’s mom fell ill again this week.  She didn’t fall this time, but developed pneumonia.  This has triggered her congestive heart failure to ramp up.  Which in turn has become a prognosis where she likely has less than three months to live (though, given her history she could defy but probably not much longer than that).  We have to prepare ourselves for what’s to come.  While in the long run it is for the best  -   I will still miss her.  Mom has no clue about what is going on with her and perhaps that is a good thing.  She lives her life in a bubble called Alzheimer’s.  It protects her from the knowledge that her heart is failing.  In her mind she is “just fine”.  So she lives in oblivion and is happy at the simplest things that take place in her life… quite frankly, she is ecstatic when we come to visit.  She doesn’t remember that we were just there hours or a day before so each time is brand new to her.  In those moments she is happy and content and just gushes “love”.  She’s not worried about what’s to come.  I’m glad for that. She’s approaching the end of her dash.  10/10/1925 - ?/?/2017? 

On the other hand is George.  His date is nowhere near an imminent end stamp.  Yet he knows it is there.  He is fearful of what will happen.  We are ever grateful for those moments when he feels somewhat normal.  Yet he lives with constant reminders that things are not.  He worries about what those little cancer buggers are doing inside his body.  He also worries about what will happen after his dash has stopped. 

There are some who know their dash is looming just beyond the horizon so they take the opportunity to knock out things that have been on their bucket list.  Depending on the circumstances, some people just stop living the dash, stop existing in their life, waiting for the end. 

Sometimes our dash comes unexpectedly while other times we know it is coming but we’re not exactly sure when.  Most of us live life believing that our dash will not come for years or decades.  I am not sure which one is “best”.  Do I want to know “when” – or not.  In some situations when we “know” the end is coming we have a chance to prepare, to get things in place, to get the chance to say all the things we want to say – and the opportunity to say goodbye to our loved one.  Yet if we live our life right we will be doing things in this moment, during our dash, so if death comes unexpectedly we don’t live with regrets. 

My advice - - live your dash in grace.  Be nice to others.  If you work, do it well.  Love your family, your friends and, if you have the opportunity, your neighbors. Tell your loved ones that you love them, and show them as well. Take advantage of the precious moments you have in this thing called “LIFE”.  Your footprint – your “dash” – leaves an impact.  Make it a positive one.  Do not take things for granted.  Be the best you can be in the here and now.  Tomorrow is not a guarantee. Only this moment is guaranteed, this time between the creation date and the expiration date.  Make the most of it!