The “C” Word – Day 114 Two Months post-surgery

November 30^th – I suppose this is a milestone.  September 30^th will forever be a major milestone every year.  For now, each 30^th of the month that ticks by is a milestone marker determining any progress made. 

George asked me last night how I thought his progress is going.  I was not sure how to answer that.  After all, I have never been through this before so I do not have anything to gauge a proper response.  Sure, he is making progress - - but is he ahead or behind expected progress?  I don’t know if anyone can measure that.

I remarked that I thought it was going much slower than I had expected.  He agreed.  Did the abscess set him back?  Was it something else?  Is this normal progress?  In his mind his original return to work date was the first of the year.  The oncologist has determined it will, at best, be February 1^st.  At this point I would have to agree.  While George can walk nearly around the block, he has to sleep afterwards.  His stamina is pretty low – so staying alert for at least an 8 to 9 hour work day would be very taxing. 

His brain is not fully “functional” yet either. He forgets things easily sometimes.  Not sure if this is due to malnourishment, vitamin deficiency or what at this point.  The fact that he is just sitting all day long with the boob tube on probably doesn’t help.  I have tried to encourage him to by giving him couple of ideas to get his brain active but he does not appear to be motivated to do so.  Sometimes it feels like I have two Alzheimer’s patients in the house.  I was not prepared for George’s memory to be like this at this point in recovery. 

‘Tis the season to decorate the outside of the house.  I am either going to have to ask for help – or am going to have to figure out how to do it myself as George is not up to attempting to do it.  Perhaps I can get him to stay outside and supervise??  This has been his job to do (mine is to take care of the inside decorating).  These past few months I have had to learn how to carry a lot of the “load” for maintaining the house, the bills, etc. in addition to doing the things I normally do.  Some things have become less important and put off for the time being.  Trying to  remember to do the things I am not normally responsible for is sometimes hard! 

After speaking with George about where he is in the recovery process and what issues he is frustrated with, I encouraged some pro-active steps.  A special seat cushion would help.  I told him to look it up online.  I told him to find one and order it up.  He says, it looks like they have them at Walgreen’s or Target. I tell him that it is easier to order it up and have it in two days then have me run around to find out if the stores actually have one in stock!  It is not like I have a lot of spare time.  Today I have to keep an eye on Mom all day – and she is not feeling well so once she is up it will require extra effort to care for her.  The other thing he needs to do is track what he is eating, how much he is eating, and what effect those foods have on him.  This will not only help us determine nutrition and calorie intake (he is still losing a couple of pounds a week) but also enable us to figure out which things do not process properly given that he has a few less organs to help them.  If he can do that, then perhaps we can meet with the cancer nutritionist to come up with a plan to get him back on track and get the most bang for his buck.  As much as I have tried to help in this area I have been pretty much a failure – and George has come to resent my assistance in the nutrition arena. 

George is tired of the constant discomfort in his body yet he has spent minimal time trying to figure out other ways to change that. (This is not to say he hasn’t spent a lot of time thinking about them – he just has not been able to come up with an adequate solution.)  I am trying to give George some active responsibility for making changes by suggesting these two ideas.

So, where do we stand two months post-surgery?  If you measure it by where we were a month ago then he is doing much better.  He is having some success with taste (there are still many things that are still not quite right) and therefore is at least eating a little bit.  He is a moving a little bit more.  He is awake more of the day.  His wounds are all closed and healing well.  He does not have any edema.  He has less bouts of nausea.  He can speak in full sentences without coughing or losing his breath – in fact he can carry on full conversations for long periods of time.  Yes, progress has been made.  There is still much more to be made, but compared to where we were a month ago, this is definitely better.