The C Word – Day 1,872

We made it through another day and another night.  There have been some difficult moments throughout the past 36 hours.

Trying to keep George’s restlessness under control is like being a chemist in a trial.  Which meds and at which doses work best to calm his twitching body. 

He had a couple of visitors yesterday and he was able to respond to them a little bit.  We laughed when he told Stan.  “When I first met you I thought you were going to be a stuffed shirt.”

Earlier in the morning as Sara and I sat visiting in the room with him, I leaned over and whispered, “I love you – forever and always” (something I’ve done a lot over the past few days).  He squinted his eyes and looked over at me and said, “Ok, what do you want now?” (as if my saying that was because I wanted something from him.)  Needless to say, Sara and I busted out laughing!  He had a few of those moments – those gifts to us to show his sense of humor is still alive and well.

He had a hard time keeping his eyes closed yesterday even though he was very tired.  That glassy-eyed look of confusion, of being somewhere between two worlds.  Just as he would start to doze off his eyes would fly open.  Finally, in early afternoon, I found the right cocktail that allowed him to sleep peacefully for the rest of the day and into the evening.  Throughout the day we’d go and lay with him, talk to him.

He was agitated again last night for a bit and it took awhile to figure out the right cocktail once again.  Finally, at 1:30, I found it and we both slept well.  Something I really needed.

We shall see what today brings.  I’m grateful to my daughters who are here to support me – make sure I eat, etc.  We are pulling together, preparing to say our final goodbye.